Five Weird Things Sleep Deprived Moms Do

Yes, sleep deprivation is absolutely no joke, and some of the weird things you do at the time leave you boiling with frustration. But isn’t it funny to look back on once you’ve recovered (well, sort of)? Here’s a list of some of the weird sh** I’ve done when my eyes were stinging and no amount of washing my face and rubbing my eyes helped.

1. Unsuccessfully making a cup of tea

I don’t know why the simple task of making a cup of tea is like solving a Rubix’s cube when you’ve had little sleep. If you’re not forgetting to boil the kettle and end up pouring stone cold water in your cup, you’re putting the teabag in every piece of crockery or appliance in your kitchen; whether it’s in the kettle itself or the nearest pot or pan. When your tea is brewing you go to grab the milk out the fridge and end up getting everything but, tropical juice, milkshake, even a cheese string? And to top it off, once you finally make a red hot cup of dreaminess you get distracted by your little bundle of joy and forget to drink it. Then repeat this about five times a day before you accept defeat.

2. Laughing uncontrollably

If you can’t laugh when you’re in a state of despair when can you? Picture this: it’s 2am, it’s the third time you’ve got up to soothe your little one. You’re overtired but it’s manageable. Your little angel decides to have a poonarmi, great! You put the lamp on, get out your supplies and change a sh**** nappy while one eye is closed and the other’s half-open. You do the trick every boy mom has told you about holding the nappy over for a few seconds to stop a mid-change wee, but you thought the coast was clear and a fountain of wee hits you while you quickly try and cover it with a wet wipe. You take a few seconds to recover and proceed with the nappy cream but your little one decides he wants to do a horizontal cha cha slide and you end up squeezing too much nappy cream out the tube all on the bedsheets. You just turn to your partner and laugh hysterically in a state of despair. You think the world hates you, but it’s okay. You put your nice warm, dry baby back to sleep and you drown your sorrows in a wet, wee stained bed, basking in slippery nappy cream with the aroma of poo in the air. If you don’t laugh, you will cry.

3. Can’t even complete simple household chores

You think you’ve got this mom thing on lockdown. You’ve finally managed to put your baby down after twenty minutes of swaying and listening to white noise that much you start hearing voices and think someone is trying to talk to you from the other side. You’ve had something to eat, even squeezed in a cup of tea. You’ve cleaned the kitchen and tidied the living room. You’re feeling on top of the world like motherhood is so great and easy. But then your brain decides to have a little meltdown. You put the washing on and start the cycle. A good five minutes have passed before you realise you’re staring at the pile of washing overflowing the washing basket and your silly a** has forgotten to actually put any clothes in the washing machine. You carefully planned the washing machine tabs, clothes softener, even those lovely tiny specs of smelly magicalness but you’ve only gone and forgot the actual clothes. Duh!!!

4. Calling your bundle of joy everything but their own name

Why is it so hard to call out your little one by their own name? You can say it when everything’s going nice and rosy but when you’re the slightest bit annoyed or boiling with frustration, you end up calling them everything but their own name. You end up shouting your partner's name or even your first pet’s name instead. And sometimes your brain has a fart and you say no names at all. No words will physically leave your mouth no matter how hard you try, leaving you, even more, seething with frustration. Come on, you spent so long trying to conceive, spent nine months carrying them inside of you, and deciding on a name for you to not remember it when you need it most!

5. Weeing where wee taking shouldn’t take place

Every mom knows that your pelvic floor isn’t your friend once you’ve given birth and you spend the majority of your time doing your pelvic floor exercises. You end up weeing for England, multiple times an hour. But this is a problem when you’ve had very little sleep. Weeing yourself a little has become the norm. I can’t count the number of times I’ve started weeing on the toilet seat (when the partner has finally learned to put the seat down) in the middle of the night or you’ve had a nap on the sofa and you think it’s the toilet – not great!

What's the weirdest things you've done while sleep deprived?

Disclosure: This blog is in no way sponsored or affiliated with any brand or product. All views are my own and based on personal experience.

©2019 by Hayley Jukes.